"Confidence is a feeling, that comes from with in, and we all have it"


Keep Going!!

This is the trickiest part. How do you keep going when you don’t “feel” like it?

We know our end goal is to build confidence with our horses, we know that we need to make and conquer small goals to get to the big ones. If we focus on the big goals our brain will tell us it’s to scary and we need to stop “changing” and we need to “abort” whatever mission we are on.

I can’t tell you how many times I would lay in bed at night being disappointed in the day that I had with my horse and I would tell myself “tomorrow” will be different, “tomorrow” I will start, “tomorrow” I can do it, etc. etc. Then tomorrow would come and I would give up, or just tell myself that I “can’t” or I am not “worthy” to know how to do these things with my horse!!

The cycle would just keep going around and around.

It took me a very long time to realize that I was even doing this, I didn’t know that I was in a vicious circle, but I also didn’t know how to get out. Until one day I was watching “Mel Robbins” and I don’t even remember how or where I seen the video. But she said that you can change your life 5 seconds at a time. BOOM>>>>>>WHAT???? She explained that when you keep doing the same thing over and over you have your brain on auto pilot, your brains job is to execute your habits. Habits are behaviors you repeat without even thinking about it. It’s a habit loop!!

When you are on Auto Pilot any behavior or pattern that you repeat will take over………SO how does this relate to horses and confidence??

If you are on auto pilot when you go to work with your horse and “normally” with out even realizing it your natural “normal” reaction would be to feel fear………you will!!!

Going to the basic exercise of literally just being around the horses and being conscious of your feelings and emotions in those moments is going to give you the chance to break that habit loop!!! Instead of your intention/goal being “gaining confidence” or “getting THIS done” or “I have to accomplish THIS” with your horse today and then those feelings of fear, anxiety and worry show up even before you realize it. Because your focus is on a job, not your horse or your emotions/feelings connected to those “jobs” you have to do with your horse that day.

The other thing that “Mel Robbins” talks about is the 5 second rule. This has been game changer for me. The 5 second rule is that if you have something to do (spend time with your horse) if you don’t take action with in 5 seconds your brain will tell you to fall back into your habit and don’t do it. Example she uses is hitting the snooze button. If when your alarm goes off you don’t get up and shut it off with in 5 seconds your brain will tell you to stay sleeping and you will hit the snooze button. So, take this over to you spending time with your horse. Example, it is cold out, you in the middle of cleaning your house, the horses are fed and your husband has checked on them, so technically they are fine and you don’t NEED to go outside. By the time that you have run the above sentence through your mind, your brain has already triggered the habit loop into telling you that you should just continue doing what you are doing because……. it’s cold, they are fed, they are fine etc. etc.

Literally counting down from 5 will give you the deadline that you need to get moving. If the thought comes into your mind that you should go out and see your horses, count backwards from 5 and when or before you hit one start moving your body to make that happen. The biggest one for me is if I am sitting and writing like I am doing right now at this moment; I would definitely have to count down from 5 to get my butt out of this chair.

Every time you start something new there is going to be a time when your body notices that something is changing and it will automatically trigger fear with in you. For me this happened after about 8 days of spending time with the horses and on the 9th day I REALLY had to convince my self to not break my promise to myself. That day I didn’t even go into the pen with them, I just stood at the fence line and watched them. The funniest thing was that I am certain that my little 3-year-old horse looked at me and asked me why I wasn’t coming in the pen to see her. Day 10 was much easier! I have been doing this now for about 4 months and it is so much easier now than it was in the beginning. But believe me there are some days that I still need to give myself the 5 second rule to get out there, but when I do, I am always grateful that I did. Once out there it is easy to stay, it’s just getting out there.

It’s not easy to keep going on something like this, making the commitment to yourself, telling yourself that you are worth making the time for this. If we told someone that we will meet them at a certain time and place we wouldn’t break that promise, so why do we let ourselves break promises to ourselves!! If I am having trouble keeping going I try and picture myself 1 year down the road and I weigh the options of………If I don’t do it where will I be and If I do it where will I be. Always check in with your future self.

I will leave you with this today,

“Stop looking outside of yourself to fix yourself, it starts by you becoming aware of who you are, what your purpose is, and moving in the right direction for you; not anybody else” Rob Dial